A new baby shakes things up for older children who have to adapt to a new place in the family. My daughter was only 18 months old when her little brother joined our family, but it's disruptive for the kids no matter how old they are. Babywearing can help reduce the tension and stress on your other little and not-so-little ones and reduce the jealousy they may feel toward the new baby.

How can babywearing help? You'll be able to focus your attention on the older ones while still keeping the baby close, safe, and content. Babies tend to be much calmer and cry less when they are worn, so you won't be distracted by a crying baby while trying to read a story to your three year old or help your 5th grader with a math problem. With baby snugly in a wrap or sling your hands are free to braid your daughter's hair, blow bubbles with your son, or just give your bigger ones a hug (husbands too!) My daughter won't let me braid her hair (or even brush it very often) but she loves that I can still push her on the swing even while I hold her brother. Sometimes we bring along an extra wrap and use it to tie her to the swing so she can't fall off.

Babywearing isn't just for tiny babies. Holding my two year old close in a wrap or ABC can give her an extra dose of cuddling when she's having a hard day and eems to be taking it out on the baby. Wearing two children at
once can even be surprisingly easy, though I don't do it often. It's much easier than trying to carry both children in your arms.

Many children like to imitate mom and dad by carrying their toys around in slings and wraps. I made my daughter a fleece pouch before her brother was born, but she also did a fair amount of improvising. For instance, a teddy bear stuffed in the front of her sweater with his head sticking out resembled her mama with baby brother in the front wrap cross carry. Encourage your child to care for his "baby" (whether it's a doll, teddy bear, or toy truck) just as mom and dad care for the newborn. Even though the parent must spend a lot of time taking care of the baby, the older child won't feel left out if he feels like he is involved, important, and "just like mom."

Nursing jealousy...If you have closely spaced children (like I do!) you may find yourself either still nursing or with a reluctantly weaned
toddler when your new baby arrives. If you are still nursing the older child,
you may not be willing to nurse him as often as your newborn needs to nurse. If you've recently weaned the older child he may be resentful that the new baby gets to nurse all the time. Nursing in a sling or wrap makes it less obvious to your other child that the baby is nursing. You can even nurse hands-free while taking a walk, pushing a swing, or doing something else fun with the older child.


~Elizabeth Johnston